For every brilliant self-publishing success, there seem to be about a thousand books that probably shouldn’t have seen the light of day. There are so many grammatically unsound novels and deathly dull memoirs these days that it’s barely worth remarking on.
But then there are the other self-published books. Far from dull, they’re so unusual as to make you do a double take. Who wrote them? And for whom? And, for the love of Pete, why?
I’ve sifted through the chaff so you don’t have to, and here are five more standouts. If you missed 5 Strangely Specific Self-Published Book Titles, give it a look as well, especially if your head could do with some scratching.
The Bible Code: Princess Diana and Dodi Fayed by Pamela Lillian Valemont
|"Verily I say unto thee: she was six weeks pregnant."|
What really happened to Diana and Dodi in that tunnel in Paris? Well, if anybody knows anything, it’s gotta be Ancient Jews.
How to Get a Nun Into Bed by Richard Grayson
|"Let me tell you about my seminary experiences."|
Props to Grayson for at least recognizing that pick-up techniques are not one-size-fits-all. Double props for using himself on the cover -- that photo’s bound to melt off a scapular or two.
BowieNet INside 2001 by Seven
|The story of an American tragedy, as it can only be told by internet-lurking glam-rock nerds.|
While mostly a collection of old message board posts made by Bowie fans in the days surrounding 9-11, this book also promises “hilarious chat excerpts,” so it’s not a total downer. Don’t worry that it’s just for message board insiders, either: the description asserts that even newcomers will enjoy hearing about “how things were in the good ol’ days when BowieNet Version 2 (with the green tile motif) first came online.” Ah, the good ol’ days. Tell us more, grandpa!
Marriage for Regular Guys with Weird Women by Richard Sexton
|"Don't look at me. SHE'S the weird one. I'm regular."|
Presumably for those who didn’t glean enough from John Gray’s Men Are From a Regular Place, Women Are From Somewhere Weird.
Oprah, Queen of the Shack Job Paramours by R. W. Bond
|"Paramours" is misspelled on the cover, so maybe Mr. Bond needs a dictionary, too.|
This book promises to tell all about Oprah’s hidden sexual agenda and carries a warning that it’s “an adult book with graphic language.” The author notes that “You will also need a dictionary to understand this book.” If it’s that graphic, maybe he means urbandictionary. *
*I could have linked to the site’s main page, but that particular page came up in my browser history and amused me no end.
Have you come across any no-publisher/small publisher weirdness? Please share. Ain’t nobody wearin’ a feather hat.