Wednesday, August 28, 2013

All Roads Lead to Book Dirt: Nude Owls Edition

I can’t get enough of checking my blog stats to see which search terms people entered into
Nude owl lovers: get the uncensored version for a buck.
Google that ultimately led them here. While it’s heartening to see readers find things I’ve actually written about (creepy nursery rhymes, literary cocktails, and limericks remain popularly-searched items), I can’t help but think some web surfers are looking for that
other internet.

Needless to say, I don’t think the Googlers who found Book Dirt via these search terms are going to stick around for my book reviews. 

Some recent searches that made me arch an eyebrow include:

Rhymes about man sluts - If I were familiar with any heroic couplets about hustlers or rent boy rondels, believe me, I’d link them. Alas, my knowledge of gigolo poetry is nil.

Nude owls calendar - My yearly roundups of weird calendars have featured both nude archaeologists and hungover owls. Maybe for 2014 someone will publish mash-up calendars of previous entries. I’m hoping for Nice Jewish Boys in Trees and Bare Naked Moog Pioneers.

Sexy Russian gipsy - I don’t know about the sexy part, but if there’s enough interest in gypsies, perhaps I’ll review the two gypsy-themed mystery novels I’ve read: Martin Cruz Smith’s Gypsy in Amber and Phil Rickman’s The Cure of Souls.

Kinky alcoholic beverage - Thanks to my Kinky Friedman mystery phase, I will forever get web hits associated with his first name from people who probably don’t have library cards.

Growing viruses on chicken eggs - This is one of the most bewildering search terms that’s come up in the stats, because I can’t for the life of me figure out how it led here. It could make for a good beginning to a Michael Crichton-esque novel.

If you’re actually here for books, check my tags by scrolling all the way down in the sidebar. You might find something you like.


  1. Kelly this post is so funny! I love the Kinky Alcoholic beverages and your response the best. I did not know you could look that sort of thing up on your stats I haven't really looked at it much but I will have to now!

    1. P.S. I will probably dream of nude owls now :)

    2. The tag "All Roads Lead to Book Dirt" will take you to all my search term roundups. I leave out the most deeply troubling ones.

      If I dreamed of owls, it would be a nightmare. They actually frighten me. I chose one with a hat to slap the censored bar on, because he looked non-threatening.

    3. And here I was just about to complain to the Better Business Bureau, with you attempting to pass off a top-hatted owl as nude...

    4. Top-hatted and be-monocled, to be precise.

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