Wednesday, August 28, 2013

All Roads Lead to Book Dirt: Nude Owls Edition

I can’t get enough of checking my blog stats to see which search terms people entered into
Nude owl lovers: get the uncensored version for a buck.
Google that ultimately led them here. While it’s heartening to see readers find things I’ve actually written about (creepy nursery rhymes, literary cocktails, and limericks remain popularly-searched items), I can’t help but think some web surfers are looking for that
other internet.

Needless to say, I don’t think the Googlers who found Book Dirt via these search terms are going to stick around for my book reviews. 


Some recent searches that made me arch an eyebrow include:


 
Rhymes about man sluts - If I were familiar with any heroic couplets about hustlers or rent boy rondels, believe me, I’d link them. Alas, my knowledge of gigolo poetry is nil.

Nude owls calendar - My yearly roundups of weird calendars have featured both nude archaeologists and hungover owls. Maybe for 2014 someone will publish mash-up calendars of previous entries. I’m hoping for Nice Jewish Boys in Trees and Bare Naked Moog Pioneers.

Sexy Russian gipsy - I don’t know about the sexy part, but if there’s enough interest in gypsies, perhaps I’ll review the two gypsy-themed mystery novels I’ve read: Martin Cruz Smith’s Gypsy in Amber and Phil Rickman’s The Cure of Souls.

Kinky alcoholic beverage - Thanks to my Kinky Friedman mystery phase, I will forever get web hits associated with his first name from people who probably don’t have library cards.

Growing viruses on chicken eggs - This is one of the most bewildering search terms that’s come up in the stats, because I can’t for the life of me figure out how it led here. It could make for a good beginning to a Michael Crichton-esque novel.

If you’re actually here for books, check my tags by scrolling all the way down in the sidebar. You might find something you like.

5 comments:

  1. Kelly this post is so funny! I love the Kinky Alcoholic beverages and your response the best. I did not know you could look that sort of thing up on your stats I haven't really looked at it much but I will have to now!

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    1. P.S. I will probably dream of nude owls now :)

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    2. The tag "All Roads Lead to Book Dirt" will take you to all my search term roundups. I leave out the most deeply troubling ones.

      If I dreamed of owls, it would be a nightmare. They actually frighten me. I chose one with a hat to slap the censored bar on, because he looked non-threatening.

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    3. And here I was just about to complain to the Better Business Bureau, with you attempting to pass off a top-hatted owl as nude...

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    4. Top-hatted and be-monocled, to be precise.

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