Monday, December 2, 2013

The Free Bin: Soul-Sucking Royals Edition

A collection of recent links on books, writing, and whatever makes me pause a cat video to read a little further.

The current Danish royal family: family portrait or horror franchise poster?

  • If you gaze at only one creepy painting of a royal family this year, make it this one. Commissioned by the Queen of Denmark and painted over four years, this royal portrait was executed by an artist said to be inspired by Rembrandt and Caravaggio. He left out “the guy who painted inside cover art for the V. C. Andrews novels.” From the Damien-like child dominating the center to the little princess decapitating her doll, it’s hard to tell which will kill you first. Look here for an enlargeable photo, plus more details on the commission.  

  • Those who  like those sorts of blog posts called “Grammar Mistakes Everyone Makes” should enjoy this one: “12 Mistakes Nearly Everyone Who Writes About Grammar Makes.” The author makes the case that the former types of articles are not only loaded with errors themselves, but also miss the big picture, and concentrate on pet peeves. 

  • “If you're looking for love, and you're dead, Ghost Singles is the site for you” says the home page of this bizarre humor site. The tongue-in-skull singles dating site for the dead lets you browse through (fictitious) profiles of departed souls, containing bios like this one from deadgrrrl, age 94: “I used to like to sew, and miss it so bad! I also miss honey butter like nothing else.” 
  • I might be biased, having worked in a bookstore so long, but nothing cracks me up like the ridiculous requests of library and bookstore patrons. This writer has a hilarious list of them, and don’t miss the comments, where more frustrated librarians share their best-ofs (like the customer who believed the staff was conspiring with monks).
  • Dust off that mantis story! An upcoming anthology is seeking tales of bugs and creepy-crawlies, “with six, eight, and millions of legs.” See guidelines here.

Find anything of interest? As always, comments are welcome, and if you’ve stumbled on anything fun yourself, share the link.


  1. That is a seriously scary portrait - either very brave or just plain nuts ... and I love the librarian article, especially the anecdote about the broken car - must be 'interesting' living with a mind like that - thanks Kelly, highly amusing and yet disturbing - what a way to start the day (it's Tuesday morning here)!

    1. I hope it's the most gruesome thing you see all day. I hate to think what might top it.

  2. Kelly, I can't believe that portrait is 'really' the royal portrait!!! They've lost their minds. It does look like VC Andrews covers. Great bin this week! Loved the librarian list and the grammar dos and don'ts, I am horrible at grammar!

    1. The artist is supposedly incredulous that people don't like it. Clueless.